Essay on the Goodness of Cigars

Sorry it has been a while since I last posted, but I've been waiting for something good and I've got it, oh boy do I got it.

A friend of mine, Byron, sent this to me for no reason at all... It's brilliant. Enjoy.

People always ask me,

Byron, do you have dreams?

Sure I've got dreams. Who doesn't? I have a dream of my beautiful little offspring looking up to me with those big inquisitive eyes and asking me,

Daddy, did you ever get to go to the Annual High Roller Open Invitational?

I'd smile, one of those proud, tear-fighting, cocksure smiles when a parent finally knows that their little baby has started growing and begun understanding the important things in life. It would be a smile for a question to which I knew the answer. I'd crouch down down humbly with endearment and reply with a shaky voice,

I was an Original. I was at the 1st Annual High Roller Open Invitational.

Time would go by and I would find my little bundle of joy peeking into the awe-inspiring chest of leathery wooded canes of enigmatic eminence. Little did that child appreciate the root aprehension to which they would find peace, meditation, and the preternatural assuagement that is found in these shafts of smoke. We'd drift about, conversing about the more important things in life - Golf, the Dodgers, Supply-Chain Management, Daddy's ol' Thug Life in Inglewood. My excited little rugrat would ask me about the important things in life,

Daddy, what's a full-body cigar? Daddy, where do cigar's come from? Daddy, don't cigar's cause cancer?

No, child, cigarettes cause cancer. God smiles and kicks his feet up every time the crisp midnight air is scortched by a flame harmonizing with with tightly wrapped tobacco leaves. No, no, cigarettes, marijuana, and crystal meth, these are the things that cause cancer. Cigar's are natural; from the earth.

I'd show that little tyke how to take a long draw, straight to the dome. Without inhaling, I'd show that squirt how to maximize the heavy cloud to that which can only be compared to a nuclear fallout. This one's lucky because they'd be observing a man that earned the name Cheech by some of the greatest men alive. Without missing a beat, that whippersnapper would anxiously reach for a their own mind-opening experience and unveil the joy that can be so hard to describe.

The emotional animation derived from the hyper zealous desperation to learn more explodes with a thirst for wisdom that can only be snared through snipets of advice of the child's father. The kid will inquire further; on past the shallow surface that was scratched in our short saunter,

Daddy, what's the best kind of stogie? How do you put the hole in it? How long does it last?

I'll snicker to myself as I patiently lay out the technique for caring for a spicey Monte Cristo No. 2 that excites your palet with an impressive aroma. My little beginner would come to know the basics of cutting or punching the tip, and it's important to learn from a veteran smoker. A couple of quick puffs to get it started, then taking in a long stream of goodness, I'd watch my seed grow into a leader of understanding. Most would call me an extremist; a bit too hard pressed to get a light. I'm sorry folks, it's in my nature, I don't choose to be a High Roller. The same reason that a midget uses the short urinal in the john. He doesn't want to use the little one, but he's not gonna pretend to be something he's not and get a stool for the big person stall. He uses it because he belongs there. It's where I belong.

Keep Smokin',
BTrain

Smith's & Handy's in Charlotte

Me with the Richard Petty car

Yesterday was a very cool day. I won a free pass to the Richard Petty Driving Experience at the Lowe's Motor Speedway in Charlotte, NC. Since Dave & Tari live there, the kids and I drove there the night before and stayed with them. They were also able to come to the track and watch.

So here's the deal as described on the website: "Your hands are on the wheel, your foot is on the gas, and you're in the driver's seat for 8 laps around the speedway in a 358 cubic inch V-8 NASCAR style racecar that roars with 600 horsepower. Prior to driving, students will go through 2 elements of safety and instruction training, in-car and on-track instruction. After driving like the "King", students will receive a graduation packet that includes a time sheet with a breakdown of each lap driven." Sweeeeeeeet. It was all that and a big ol' bag of Spicy Habanero Dorito chips.

Even though I started slow (only 110MPH or so) I got it up to 135MPH and finished among the top of our 30 person group! The way it works is that you are alone in the car (I got to drive in Kasey Kahne's #9 car) and must follow a pace car; no other racers go at the same time as you and the pace car, otherwise there would be a ton of accidents.

So I'm harnessed up in the car, turn the engine on and it growls. I am by no means a race car guy, in fact they said Micheal Waltrip was there, but I had no idea who that was so I missed a signature opportunity... Anyway, the engine is rumbling like 50 Harley-Davidsons, so I goose the gas just to hear it. All I can say is that if I hadn't gone to the bathroom before the race, I may have in that car. That car Roared! All you can do is grin, nod your head and say, "Yessir, 600 horsepower, thank you very much."

Right after that the pace car pulled in front of me and then took off... my pit guy gave me the 'GO' and I was off. First gear hummed till I was pushing 2500RPM as I was hitting turn-1. I was in third before I hit turn-2 and dropped it into fourth as I hit the first straight-away. I wasn't keeping up with the pace car for the first two laps and the flag-guy kept signalling me to get the lead-out. By the third lap, I was getting to feel more comfortable hitting those turns at 100+MPH and dropped the hammer. My score chart they gave us said my average MPH was 118.75 and that my top speed was 135 with a lap time of 45.47 seconds on a 1.5 mile track.

I wish I could have propped up a camera or something in the car while I was racing because that was incredible! I am very fortunate that it was free because I don't know if I could have dropped $400, but I can tell you I'd be temped to just to do it again!

I'll try to drop some more pictures here later.

Zoom-Zoom

Me with the kids before my race

Richard Petty Driving Experience

Just before I took off...

Heading to Lambeau Field

Amy and I are spending our vacation up in Wisconsin to see my family at the end of October. Amy, being the amazing wife she is, scored us tickets to the Packer game when they play the Cardinals on the 29th! This is the second time I'll have been to Lambeau, the first being when I was in middle school and too young at the time to appreciate the experience. Granted, the Pack wasn't quite in their glory years at the time... I think Lynn Dicky was still QB for them? Well, I guess you could say they're not quite in Post Season form now either, but I'll get to see Favre in perhaps his last season. Good or bad, it will be an amazing time.

Thanks, Amy. You are the best!

Wendy's Cannot Do Breakfast

Wendy's should stick with burgers.

When I saw that Wendy's was finally going to break down and serve breakfast, I was pleased. I like Wendy's if I'm on the road and in the mood for a good burger, I'd keep an eye out for ol' Wendy before hitting the golden arches or the more expensive Hardee's.

However, when the day finally came when I had an opportunity to check out how Wendy's breakfast could stack up next to BK & McD's, I was severely disappointed.

I ordered a southwest egg sandwich combo. The hash rounds are nearly identical to BK, and the coffee was alright. The sandwich left a lot to be desired though.

A few weeks later, I decided to go back and give it another go. This time I ordered an omlette dipper meal. They looked like large hash rounds, but with egg on the inside. Seemed like a good idea when I ordered them. They tasted like wet sand. I took a second bite, convincing myself that I wasn't going to waste it. I ended up not taking a third. Never again.

Sorry Wendy's. You're burgers rock, but leave breakfast to the other guys.

Richmond Church 10-Year Anniversary

Yesterday, we were able to drive up to Richmond, VA for church. Why would we drive 3 hours to go to church you ask? It was the church's 10-year anniversary; Amy and I had been on the team that went there to plant the church back in '96. We got to see a lot of old friends, some of whom we hadn't seen since we had move from there.

In the picture, we are with old friends, Ruben and Barbara Marbury and their three daughters. Soraya is next to Ruben, Krista is next to Amy, and Bryana is in front of Barbara. We were only in Richmond for only six or seven months when we moved with Ruben and Barbara to Cleveland to help with a church up there.

Before I even met Amy, she was good friends with the Marbury's. She would nanny for Krista when she was just a baby. It's because of them that Amy and I are together. Ruben has been like a father, brother and best friend to me and I am so grateful for their friendship to Amy and I through the years.

Friends from out of town

Amy's friend, Michelle, was in town and stopped by to visit. They were buds back in Virginia Beach and her and her husband moved to Elizabeth City, NC a few months before we moved down here to Raleigh. We invited them to spend the night because the kids were having such a great time together. Michelle's daughter, Faith, is reading a story to Kerrigan and her sister Micah at bedtime. What a great time we all had together!

Amy, Tiffany & Bethany during our impulsive visit last weekend. We went up to visit Rob and Tiffany since she had her last (yeah!) chemotherapy treatment. It happened to be Rob Rafferty's birthday, so we went over to celebrate with them. Happy Birthday, Rob! Glad we made the trip, we had a really great time.

Slip N Slide

Having fun in the back yard.

Kerrigan's Birthday

Well, last week was Kerrigan's birthday and she got to spend it in the hospital.

Last Friday she started throwing up and throughout the day it didn't get any better. By that night, Amy had had enough and took her to the ER. Her tummy was tender, so they suspected for a moment that it may be appendicitis (sp?). They ended up staying until Sunday afternoon. By the end of it, they just guessed it was a nasty little virus. Poor girl.

She got a new bike, helmet and knee & elbow pads when she got home though.

Happy Birthday, Kerrigan!

Bio Project

For fun at my job we were all given an opportunity to make a collage to describe ourselves. When everyone's project was finished and collected, they were all put in a photograph album and set out in the lobby for clients to look at. Being an Architectural / Design firm, there was no lack of creativity - I wish I could post everyone's creation here.

Anyway, above is mine. I intentionally didn't explain the meaning of the images so if someone was curious, they could ask. You learn more about a person that way. However, for this post, I put numbers on the image so i can put a brief description there for you - though I think most of them will be easy guessing, especially those of you who know me well. For fun, see if you can tell what everything is before looking at the 'answers'...

1. "More Cowbell" is a reference to the classic Saturday Night Live skit: "VH1's Behind the Music: Blue Oyster Cult". By far my favorite skit. Gotta have more cowbell!

2. If you read the small seal closely, it says, "Alden Kindred of America Incorporated." Through my paternal grandmother's side of the family, I am a direct descendant of John & Priscilla Alden, who were of the original 100+ pilgrims who came over on the Mayflower back in 1620. Pretty cool.

3. A humble wooden cross. The center of my life.

4. My beautiful kids, Jude & Kerrigan.

5. A djembe drum. I love all music, especially percussion But more than anything, I love the simple primitive sound of a djembe.

6. Putto Musicante by Rosso Fiorentino, circa 1500. My favorite piece of art.

7. 'Jesus Shaves' is... muti-dimensional. People often overlook the humor and automatically see Jesus Saves, but no... he shaves. I think many will see this as sacreligious, but I think it's funny.

8. Our wedding day: July 3, 1998. This is our favorite shot from that day. I remember we were the first one's out of the church and we were alone for just a moment. Kimber Brownlee, our photographer, caught our only real private moment of the day between us. It would be an understatement to say that was a really great day. We are more in love today than we were that day.

9. Tabasco rules. It belongs on everything.

10. 'Shaun of the Dead' is one of my favorite movies. Probably my favorite comedy. You've got red on you.

11. Jack Black rocks. This is him in 'School of Rock.' One of my fav's.

12. Amerigo Bonasera speaking with Don Vito Corleone in "The Godfather". Never get tired of The Godfather.

13. I am a closet Harry Potter geek. I have all the movies, hardback books, audobooks on disc narrated by Jim Dale and even the UK versions on disc narrated by Stephen Fry.

14. Hidden in the background is an 'Oshkosh B' Gosh' logo. I was born in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, though the brand is no longer centered there. Most locals are pretty bitter that they left... who am I fooling, they're all bitter.

15. Star Wars. I'm such a nerd. I love it.

16. Baseball cards. Though I haven't seriously collected since I graduated high school, I still have all my old cards. Even though I do not own any of the following, these are some of my fav's:

16a) 1954 Topps Hank Aaron rookie card

16b) 1952 Topps Mickey Mantle rookie card

16c) 1968 Topps Johnny Bench rookie card

16d) 1909 T206 Honus Wagner tobbacco card

17. Moe's Southwest Grill is my favorite mexican place.

18. BEER! My fav's are Labatt's, Honey Brown, Rolling Rock... but mostly Miller Lite.

19. 'Ecstasy' by Maxfield Parrish. Both he and M.C. Escher are my favorite artists. Many people mistake Parrish as a Renaissance era painter, but he was actually born in Philadelphia, PA in the late 1800's.

20. NFL Vince Lombardi Trophy. The Pack has three of these puppies.

21. The famous Bucky 'effing' Dent home run in the 1978 season ending tie-breaker game between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees. The Yanks went on to win the World Series that year. I love being a Yankee fan! Though I must say that I am deeply a Brewers fan at heart.

22. If you've been on this blog at all, you've seen how I feel about the Packers. The only major league professional sports team in the US that is community owned. They may not always be great, but they are by far the best team in the NFL... regardless of the standings.

23. Back to baseball, this is "The Catch." Willie Mays made this catch in the first game of the 1957 World Series off the bat of Vic Wertz. The Giants ended up sweeping the Indians in four games for the championship. One of the greatest catches of all time.

24. This is the logo of the A-6 Squardron I was in while I was stationed at Naval Air Station Oceana. VA-35 Black Panthers.

25. Another Navy reference, classic WWII military propaganda... er, I mean poster.

26. A-6 Intruder logo. This is the type of aircraft I worked with while in the Navy.

27. Old-style Milwaukee Brewers logo. Like I mentioned earlier, the Brewers are my home team. I grew up with Robin Yount, Paul Molitor, Gorman Thomas, Rollie Fingers, Pete Vuckovich (et al.). I am just now starting to like the Cardinals... I have hated them indiscriminately since 1982.

28. The Splendid Splinter, Ted Williams. Being a Yankee fan, albeit a transplant fan, I respect and love all the old Red Sox greats: Ted, Carl Yaztremski... uh, are there any more? Anyway, Ted was amazing, even though he is cryogenically frozen in a Scottsdale, AZ lab. Way to go John-Henry.

29. Bucky Badger. I did not attend the University of Wisconsin , but as far as college loyalty goes, they are my team.

30. Just a football... thought it looked cool.

31. Max, from 'Where the Wild Things Are.' My favorite book as a kid and now.

Hope you enjoyed and learned a little more about me.

I had fun making it.

Packers Wallpaper contest # 3

This was my third and final entry.

Much more simple than the others, but fun to make.

Post Script: You can tell by the 'post date' how late I stay up making these stupid things!

Kerrigan took this picture of Jude and I.

Miami Dolphins Wallpaper

Here you go, Rob. As requested, a customized Miami Dolphins wallpaper just for you... and whoever else wants it.

Packers wallpaper 02

This is the second desktop wallpaper I put together for the Packers.com wallpaper contest. It's an ode to their three Super Bowl victories: 1967, 1968 & 1997, though they also won 9 others before there was such a thing as a Super Bowl - 1929, 1930, 1931, 1936, 1939, 1944, 1961, 1962, & 1965. I thought the images of Vince Lombardi & Mike Holmgren balanced each other excellently. Pressure and frustration leading to winning their respective championships, being carried away by the team. I like this one better than the first.

Packers Desktop Contest

This is one of the Wallpapers I made and submitted to Packers.com for a contest. If you like the Pack, feel free to download it and grace your desktop with it's chessiness!

Hope we beat the Chargers tonight. It may be a long season.

Jude & Kerrigan on 'Cars'

Can't remember if I've mentioned this, but the kids are absolutely in love with all things 'Cars' by Pixar. As a treat, I thought I'd surprise Jude and Kerrigan with a little picture of them with their favorites... I put it on the computer's desktop, so they saw it right away this morning. They were so excited to be 'riding' on King and Sally!

If any of you happened to get the McDonald's happy meal cars and have extra or don't mind parting with them, we missed Lightning McQueen, Ramone, Fillmore & Sally. We have extra Mater & Doc if you're up for a trade as well.

KaChow!

The Reverend in Rhythm

I would love to hear this album!

Nice pipe...